Act 1. Scene 4

As I sit here this chair cradles me as I become stale almost non-existent like a piece of bread that over time just shrivels and becomes no longer edible to the rest of the world. All it needs is moisture and it could be soft again, one last time before it's thrown away. What a waste.

I'm becoming stale and bitter, I'm at the point where I'm ready to beg someone to be there to hold me while I shake. My body temperature is slowly dropping. My appetite is weakening but I'm hungry for distruction. I want to break everything. I really feel like my days are shorter and that they really just have no meaning. I feel like I should do something, go out have fun enjoy my sobriety but I don't have the motivation or the care. I don't wanna leave my house. I just wanna sit here and hope for some girl to come over and just cradle me to sleep. Just that motherly nurture that always makes you feel like when your a kid. Like when your mom use to read you bed time stories. Of course for me my grandparents did that for me. I remember it vivedly.

I also remember all the sundays my grandma would try to hold back her laughter when i would fake being sick because I didn't want to go to church...I was a little shit. There was one time where she came in threw a bowl of water on me because I wouldn't wake up for school. That was fun.

Another good time was that day I nailed my sister in the back of the head with an aluminum baseball bat, we still laugh about that and blame that for the reason my sister is such a dork.

Let me explain! So I was outside practicing T-ball with one of my friends in my backyard and my family was having a barbeque so they were all outside watching us swing the bat. Our coach taught us to follow through and not to stop our swing once hit the ball. It's my turn to take a swing and my sister who is like 3 or 4 at the time is standing behind me I told her to move and so did my grandparents. She was a stubborn little shit and screamed "NO!" so we all told her fine when Justin hits you in the back of the head we don't wanna hear you complaining. I even pushed her away and she walked right back right as I took the swing. Coach taught me how to follow through like a pro because I clocked her good. Good times! Don't worry I love my sister even if she is a little mentally slow...I guess I have to I made her that way right Jade?

So beyond these fun memories. I'm realizing so much meaningless bullshit. It's kind of depressing how inconsiderate, disrespectful and unneducated people are. I'm live, breathe, sleep and fuck body modifications don't disrespect me by telling me that it's gross that I have huge wholes in my ears or that it's terrifying to see these things done...If you can't handle it fine but to me you might as well tell me that I'm horrific to look at and that my parents created a monsterous face by doing the ol' in n' out. I don't come up to you and talk about that huge fucking shnoz you have nor do I criticize the mole locted on the tip of it. So Fuck you! Also I hate self proclaimed no it alls your not fooling anyone. It's not gauging and they're not gauges it's called stretching and those are plugs. We're not putting a piercing in a hole we're piercing you and putting jewelry in you. By the way you sound so fucking cool when you talk about getting a P.A. but joking. If your gonna open your mouth about it chances are your gonna sound like a douche. It's also a real pain in the ass to give aftercare to someone and have them ignore you through the whole process or shake their head like they hear every word you say then when you ask them if they have any questions they just stare off into space like there was a naked dude with a P.A. fucking some bitch in the lobby. I understand you probably don't care and thats why I'm writing in this blog so I can express it and get it off my chest.

I find it funny however the observations I'm making lately. The lifestyles others lead and people I come across in my daily activities. I've noticed how cool it is that in some fashion or another most people are connected in some way. Whether it be because 2 people are walking down the street they notice each person has "Guages"*HAHA* they nod at each other and keep walking. Or maybe you like the shirt they're wearing you nod and out of respect they nod back. Maybe your driving the same style of car. Maybe your both riding a bike. Whatever it may be it's crazy the amount of nods a person can get in a given day.

With that being said I know all of this was all over the place but I do what I want bitch...Akright, and goodnight!!!!!